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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

greetings, yesterday didn't blog with handphone.. chat on phone till fall asleep.. i so long never bloggg.. my house is the very terrible and horrible and the vegetable.. because my uncle & aunties are staying for holidays.. so the house is like super party and super childcare.. got baby got child muahahahaa.. 8 together i think.. luckily this house is big.. living room big like basket ball court.. room so-so only.. but toilet very small.. muahahaha.. it turned into a party house and a arcade house.. got desktop pc.. laptop.. nintendo wii.. psp !! welcome to the world of arcade =)

was pretty sick.. but now feeling better.. i think Sunday drank too much.. 1 bottle of whole garden.. i mean hoegaarden.. i failed.. muahahahaa.. its the same old problem again.. damn frens overseas so good life.. leave me alone.. that i dont have anywhere to go with.. so had no choice called my best bro to go with me.. i always wonder what's the point of living in this world, to love ?? to create problems ?? to suffer ?? or what.. i really dont understand.. people do have big dreams.. people do have happy lifes but i dont.. not i dont want.. its i can't have them.. i dont have a long living life i know.. due to my heart condition, im envy that normal average people can live up to 80 years old.. but for my case i know i can't.. i will be the happiest man in this world if i can live up to 40 years old.. that's why i always envy people.. im borned in this way.. and i live in this way.. i dont know when i will leave this world.. i really dont know.. when this matter comes up on my mind.. i am very scared.. i really do.. because i will lost my loved ones around me.. and they dont wish to lose me too.. sorry bro as you know me well.. i dont voice out things in my heart.. please let me keep them inside my heart.. because i dont wanna "lian lei" all of you.. i know my life is born like this.. there's nothing i can change or to excuse it.. if its like this.. then let it be.. if its fate then let it be as i always believed in fate..

i found my life meaningful each day as i stepped on the bright light side of my life.. i would say those dark side of my life in the past is stupid and is waste of time.. i will continue to change my life even more better as promised.. i dont wanna think about the past.. i will let my past people forget about me or dont even know me.. i will and i believe it and i will see it as im seeing some improvements on me.. im glad i've change alot in outlook.. people can't recognize me when they see me.. i also feel good that people said im good, i study alot, im a nerd, and those guai guai things.. this has proven alot.. and im very happy =)

since past few years i had simple lifes onwards.. this simple life will carry on till the day i leave this world..i already said i dont aim big.. i dont think big.. i dont and i will never.. go on saying im stupid or stubborn or useless as im already immune to it.. just let me live in this way as i have one short life.. after this life.. i dont know where will i be going to.. i really dont know.. let me carry on living happily for the next half of my life.. yes i dont have full life.. i only have half-life.. but i dont play half-life or half-life 2.. muahahahaha.. =)

i guess this is life.. no body will have perfect life.. life is always full of troubles and blah blah blah blah blah.. that's why we have lifes :)

and also not forgetting nub and the kid.. muahahahaha.. brush up your outlooks and ur nihonjin language.. who knows.. one day our small dream will come true.. definitely we will migrate there if possible ~ if not.. we'll go there for a short trip ! we are fated to be together and always be 4 ever !! and not left 4 dead.. muAhHAhAHAha.. uh.. sorry kid.. so many days never play left 4 dead.. im using laptop .. which dosn't have the game installed.. so STOP CALLING ME TO PLAY PLAY PLAY.. my room is surrendered to my uncle and auntie.. so uh.. sadded.. go toilet also must go outside kitchen toilet WHICH IS VERY DIRTY and not used to it.. muahahahahaa..

ok anyway gtg now.. will stop here.. baby cousin is so cute.. =D
so fun when 4 years old.. muahahahaha..

jamatane~