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Saturday, October 20, 2007

i woke up at 5am.. from 5am.. can't sleep dun know why.. on my bed till 7am.. woke up watch TV.. till 9.30am.. than DotA till now la.. dota dota dota.. everything will be gone la.. haix..

i went to bed again.. not long i suddenly woke up.. something must be not correct.. i went online.. and check she's online or not.. and there she is.. i aasked her to reply my email.. she say she will take some time.. i said i dun mind.. she treat me as talking to a stranger..

actually.. i have the picture of it le.. we haven contact for months.. for that few months.. she might have found another guy.. and me?? i promised to wait for her.. this is what i get now??.. i was hoping she give me a suprise.. but nah.. she's running away le.. think about that.. if a girls really like/love you.. she ignore you for few months?? and take her exams as excuses?? where she still can go out with her frens enjoying herself..? not even an sms.. also not even a call.. no call , no sms.. not anything from her?? i knew it something must be wrong.. she has forgotton me le.. she thinks that im anything de.. "u wan to wait u wait lor" "i also dunno what to do".. god.. i trust her.. i even wait for her.. is this what im i going to get?? sometimes she's abit empty minded.. she can't make up her mind.. she can't even say a "NO" to other guy.. is this fair? god.. im really very hurt now.. for what she did to me..

for all the girls out there.. if you love a guy.. u would wanna be wif him.. u would wanna hear his voice.. u wan him so much.. right??... but for mine.. its opposite.. she has been ignoring me.. and taking her exams as excuses.. where she is happily with her new stead..

SHE DUN WAN ME LE.. BECAUSE OF ANOTHER NEW LOVE.. SHE FORGOTTON ME TOTALLY.. SHE FORGOT IM WAITING FOR HER.. SHE DONT LOVE ME AT ALL.. BUT SHE SCARED IM HURT.. SO SHE WONT TELL ME.. BUT IM TELLING NOW.. IM EVEN MORE HURT-ED. THESE FEW DAYS IN MY SLEEP.. I HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT HER.. ONE.. SHE IS LEAVING ME.. TWO.. SHE REPLIED MY EMAIL " I DUNNO HOW TO REPLY ".. WILL SHE SAID SHE DUNNO HOW TO REPLY AGIAN?? .. I'VE BEEN OBSERVING HER FRIENDSTER EVERY TIME WHEN I BLOG.. OR WENT ONLINE.. I KNOW WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN.. TODAY.. SHE JUST PUT UP A PRIVATE PHOTO.. NEEDLESS TO SAY.. ITS SO OBVIOUS.. I GUESS YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT'S THE PHOTO ABOUT TOO.. I DID A VIDEO FOR HER.. UPLOADed TO YOUTUBE.. SHE ASKED ME TO TAKE DOWN.. I UPLOAD FEW PHOTOS TO HER.. BUT SHE DELETED IT.. LOL.. AND NOT EVEN IN PRIVATE SECTION PHOTOS... NOW THERE'S ONE PRIVATE PHOTO OF HERs !! I WAS HOPING SHE GIVE ME A REPLY TONIGHT.. BUT NAH.. SHE CAN'T BE BOTHERED OR "DUNNO HOW TO REPLY" .. SHE RATHER SPEND HER TIME ON HER FRIENDSTER.. .. LOL LOL LOL IM ABOUT TO GO INSANE.. LOL LOL LMAO LOL.. IM CRYING AND LAUGHING.. LOL..

I WAS HOPING SHE AT LEAST CALL ME.. BUT NONE.. SHE WONT CALL ME.. SHE'S WAITING FOR HER STEAD TO CALL HER.. ISN'T IT TOO OBVIOUS... SHE ISN'T GOT FEELINGS FOR ME ALREADY.. SHE MUST BE THINKING IM MAD "SIAO" .. LOL. SHE MUST NOW THINKING.. OMG.. HOW TO SETTLE.. I DUNNO I DUNNO.. ALL SHE KNOW WAS "DUNNO" & "SORRIE"... LOL

i soon will end up in IMH.. what should i do?? where's my guardian angel?? can save me?? should i give up? but if im going to give up.. i will seriously hate her so much till..... ok i wont say anymore.. HOWEVER I WILL STILL WAIT FOR HER REPLY..

i wake up at night 11pm+ .. just to blog .. and say what i think.. that's all.. i might be wrong.. LET'S HOPE ITS WRONG.. but this is what i thinking now.. i dont know what she is doing now.. I JUST HOPE SHE TELL ME THOSE TEXT IN GRAY AN'T TRUE, THEY ARE FROM FAIRYTALE.. ALL FICTION... i dont know what to do liao.. im so hurt and so sad.. so lonely... no body cares about me.. my life is f**ked seriously.. people live happily day by day.. i live sadly and hurtly day by day.. GOD WILL YOU TAKE ME AWAY PLEASE.. NOW !!!!

ok coming to serious part.. i hope she can call me.. but i think wont le.. im so hurt and so sad.. she still do nothing.. what this means?? there's no need for me to say le.. at night i login.. she didn't reply.. she updated her friendster instead.. she dunno what to reply le.. what i know now is.. these 2 years+.. i have wasted my time/money/LOVE on her..

today's post.. im not going to delete away.. unless she asked me too.. or she do it herself.

Labels: fcuk my life, JUST let me die LA